I saw this post on Dr. Megha Tulsiyan’s iReflect page and it really resonated with me.

2020 dawned in the midst of a lot of chaos, anger, political volatility, threat of imminent war and a climate crisis that is threatening to destroy everything. As a double whammy, I am also going through a significant personal change–new city, new job and new challenges.

So instead of feeling my usual hopeful and chirpy, I ended up feeling ragged and exhausted every day. I was crawling into bed every night, just thankful that the day ended. And was waking up feeling stressed.

That my weariness had a larger environmental origin rather than my immediate circumstances dawned on me one Friday about 15 days ago.

That day, my maid had taken an unexpected off due to ill health. For an Indian working woman, this is tantamount to disaster, isn’t it?

After I had tackled a mountain of dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, I had flopped wearily on the couch. My head was dully hurting, I was feeling exhausted and not very happy.

As a diabetic hypertensive, these are not good symptoms. While I was absently massaging my head, wondering whether I should consult a doc, I discovered that the dull ache was around my ears. The kind of hurt that happens when your muscles are tired.

Did I have an ear infection? I was feeling perfectly fine otherwise, so what was happening?

Off late, I’ve been trying to listen to my body before popping a pill, so I brought my awareness to my head and ears. By and by, it occurred to me that my ears were hurting from listening to an overload of things that I hadn’t wanted to hear–rape, unrest, violence, war, political brouhaha and strident social media opinions and statements. The New Year has been quite a cacophonous rollercoaster.

You might think it is flaky of me to come to this conclusion, but I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and I tend to respond to people and events around me physically before I am even cognizant mentally of what is happening.

I hadn’t seen Dr. Megha Tulsiyan’s neat list of hacks by then, but I did a few things that really helped me. These hacks maybe highly individualistic, or perhaps you might find one or two points helpful. So here goes.

Breathe

The first thing I did was to breathe. I found a comfortable, breezy spot in my living room and breathed. First I just did deep abdominal breathing and watched my breath, becoming more and more aware of my body. Then I did 7 cycles of Pranayama. It helped me calm down a lot.

I am mildly asthmatic too, and doing Pranayama has done wonders to it. I hardly get wheezing attacks these days. So I am one of those people who can swear by breathing.

I highly recommend deep breathing (whatever method you follow) to manage stress. If you can follow it up with meditation, nothing like it!

Shake that Stress Out!

I danced. I played all my favorite songs for an hour and just flailed around, shaking my stress out. I love dancing–I love the music, rhythm, resonance that you feel in your body, and the freedom of expression it affords.

It got enough endorphins flowing in my brain to give me a good mood lift. I could literally feel the stiffness on my shoulders and back melt away.

You may replace dancing with working out, running, walking, yoga–but do something kinesthetic. Get up from your chair. Look up from your smart phone. Switch off the TV. Get your heart pumping. It really helps.

Take a Shinrin-yoku

Shinrin-yoku is Japanese for Forest Bath. The Japanese believe that being connected to nature is the bridge to well being and happiness.

Dr Qing Li says: “Taste the freshness of the air as you take deep breaths. Place your hands on the trunk of a tree. Dip your fingers or toes in a stream. Lie on the ground. Drink in the flavor of the forest and release your sense of joy and calm. This is your sixth sense, a state of mind. Now you have connected with nature. You have crossed the bridge to happiness.”

To our great fortune, we have discovered the Hyderabad Botanical Garden, which is quite close to home. What’s more, they have a designated conservation area where they are letting nature grow wild. So there is about 2 – 3 kilometers of wooded trails, full of wild flowers, birds, and butterflies.

We end up going there whenever we can and get our fix of Shinrin-yoku. The joy is indescribable. As our cities get more and more concretized, it is important to find these oasis, however small they are. Please find the nearest park, grounds or spot where you can be amidst nature.

If there isn’t one, then perhaps it is time to join a group that wants to conserve trees and plant more?

Be A Child

I believe it is important to have a safe space where you can be a child and say, “I’m scared/anxious about what is happening,” and have someone be the parent and tell you, “Don’t worry, things won’t go to the dogs–not tomorrow.”

This time, for me, it was my dad. I called him up and expressed my concerns, and he intuitively understood where I was coming from and soothed me with comforting wisdom. I needed my daddy, and he came through. 🙂

I do have one or two sagacious friends who have been the parent on different occasions.

My advice to everyone is to find those friends and nurture them. It is important to be vulnerable safely.

Find Order

We humans, even flaky “free spirits” like me, need a sense of order to feel centered.

I realized that while I had no/little influence on the larger geo-political-economic narrative, I can bring in some order into my immediate circumstances.

I started a “Daily Reflection” process of mindfully reviewing the previous day and planning the present day. I made it formal by buying a special journal for it and being disciplined about doing it every day, first thing in the morning. I pay special attention to recording learning and gratitude.

This has helped me tremendously. It has helped me get on top of things that I do have control on and architect small accomplishments daily, so that I go to bed not feeling distressed but with a sense of I did what I could.

I highly recommend this process.

Open a Window

One big lesson I learned through this is not to forget the things that I enjoy doing. It is easy to be caught up in the craziness and forget to have fun.

I have been consciously trying to do things that I like: browsing book shops, watching movies of favorite actors, listening to music and discovering the city. I also spend some time day dreaming about some of my pet projects–I want to write an Indian fantasy novel. I have kept Matrix 1 as an ideal, so you know this is never going to see the light of the day, but I’m trying to do research these days. 🙂

Do find the time, however little it might be, to do things that you love doing. Life isn’t worth living otherwise.