A friend once described me as a fly.

According to him, I’m so restless that I cannot sit still in one place for long–like a fly. He’s right, mostly. I do have problems with sameness. I equate sameness to known, old, boring, un-mysterious and static.

On Dr. Helen Fisher’s personality type quiz (Explorers, Builders, Directors, Negotiators), I kinda broke the scale on the “Explorer” type. (You can check your personality by taking the quiz here. You can also buy her book for further details.)

Me, Columbus

What’s an “Explorer” you ask? We E’s tend to express the following traits:

“These people express traits related to novelty, experience and adventure seeking, impulsivity, energy and enthusiasm. These men and women are also often intellectually curious, mentally flexible and creative. Explorers are the embodiment of the term ‘there is never a dull moment’ and these adventurers live to discover new people, places, things, and ideas. Explorers have more energy than most people, and they tend to be restless, fast paced, and flighty. Explorers do not tolerate boredom well, and they tend to avoid routine of almost any kind.”

In other words, I like change. To paraphrase my favorite standup comedian Eddie Izzard, I have “Change-joy”. And change has always embraced me as one of its own.

I have packed bags and baggage and uprooted myself across the country and across the globe many times in my life, on practically a week’s notice. I have moved places of residence and places of work with not much of a pang.

Anxiety-proof

After reading a lot of articles on Anxiety, including some on this blog, I got thinking. I realized that what I have embraced with glee might be the very cause of anxiety attacks in others.

New situations, unfamiliar surroundings, and confusing local practices entertain me. I once visited a predominantly white town in Michigan for a long weekend on my own and had people stop me on my tracks asking me whether I was lost and did I need help! I was quite amused by it and wrote a blog post about it.

Now, I’m trying to deconstruct my approach in the hope that some of it might be relatable and useful to people who do grapple with anxiety. If you think it is presumptuous of me, my apologies in advance.

So, without much further ado, here are my hacks to handle change and newness.

#1: Think of the Tale

Whenever I’m in a new situation, my mind always goes to “What tale will I live to tell about this?”

I’m a storyteller and I like to tell stories about sharing a cab with Mexican in California who showed me a water bottle made of hollowed squash; or about the Finnish gentleman that I was chatting up when our suburban train in Chicago area halted because (true story) the engine bogey got decoupled with the rest of the train and shot off a few miles; or about the birds I chased into a Karuvelam thicket on a solo birding trip to a lake near Madurai, a setting which I turned into a paranormal story later; or about how we were chased by stray dogs while carrying two modas on the longest walk from the bazaar to our hotel in Shantiniketan.

The thing is, I’m hatching the story while going through the experience, so in some way, I have the control on how the story will go. I decide whether the experience is going to be an adventure, a comedy or a thriller. This keeps me busy and probably keeps anxiety at bay.

Anybody can tell a story. Researchers say that human beings are built to tell them. Which is why we started telling them from that night when the tribe was lying under the stars, with bellies full of mammoth meat. So don’t think raconteurs are a special breed.

#2: Gamify it!

Yeah, when in an unfamiliar/stressful situation, I usually gamify it. Can I walk until there? Can I make it by this time? Can I manage on this much money for this day? Can I walk into that restaurant and have a meal on my own?

The idea is to break down an experience into smaller goals and challenge yourself. I usually win these games with high scores, of course. And when you do, the bragging rights are all yours!

I played a game of surviving in Heathrow airport after being stranded there in transit due to a super blizzard that had rendered a lot of airports in Europe dysfunctional in the winter of 2008-09. We had been deplaned after 3 hours in the aircraft and were told they couldn’t predict when they can fly us to our destination. Thanks to an Indian/Pakistani (not sure which) gentleman at the passenger assistance counter, I got a really cheap hotel accommodation and spent my time quite comfortably.

One winter night, my bus from Chicago to Peoria got interminably delayed due to heavy snow and treacherous driving conditions. I reached Peoria bus station at 1:00 a.m. instead of the scheduled 7:00 p.m. and had to walk to my hotel, just 7 minutes away, but through driving snow. It was scary and cold as hell, but the game was to reach the welcomingly warm lobby of my hotel safely and as quickly as I could. Well, I managed it and live to tell the tale!

I played a game of finding a highly recommended restaurant in the French Quarters in New Orleans on foot alone and having an authentic local meal (Jambalaya, Gumbo) on a Saturday night. I was rewarded with a truly yummy meal and a wonderfully colorful walk back to my hotel, amidst jazz music, street performances, tourists sipping those mile-long daiquiris, and various tourist-trap shops.

#3: Trust the Friendly Neighborhood Universe

I got acquainted with the protective hand of the Universe when I was 16.

That morning, I was late (as usual) and had missed the city bus that came near my house and decided to walk to the by-pass road abetting our colony to catch another bus. The road at that time was undergoing World Bank-funded expansion to become a modern four-lane.

But for that, they had to drain what was predominantly marshy paddy fields. They were doing this by digging deep trenches, clearing and filling with more solid foundation. They had piled up the excavated clay/mud all along the side of the road. That fateful morning, as I was rushing to catch a bus to school, I had to cross this. The clay pile looked kosher and dry so I stepped on it.

And to my utter horror, the clay was dry only on the surface and I found my leg sinking completely into the mud. When I tried to leverage myself with my other leg, that too went in and I was buried waist deep in mud, along a very busy road! Talk about bizarre!

I cried for help. The men around were milling, quite confused themselves and not knowing what is to be done. And here I was, caught in a horrific predicament.

Suddenly, a frail old lady, who looked like a servant maid, appeared in front of me. Even then, I was a big girl. But this old woman, don’t know from where, found the strength to single handedly pull me out of the mud. 

I was in deep shock by this time. She gently took me by the hand, entered someone’s house nearby, demanded soap and water from them and washed the mud off me!!!

She then asked me where my house was and accompanied me to my place. I asked her to come to my house with me, but she declined. I asked her to wait so that I can get my mother, but by the time I could (quite incoherently) tell my mother and bring her out, my savior was long gone.

I’m a Madurai girl, so I do believe it was Goddess Meenakshi who answered her child’s distress calls.

Soon after, I set out into the world on my own, with no other resources but my deep faith in Universe. And without fail, the Universe has bailed me out of scrapes, in the guise of utterly friendly and compassionate strangers.

Surviving VUCA

We are living in a Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous (VUCA) world, and the only way to live with sanity is to embrace change. We NEED to figure out our own hacks to do the same.

What are some of your survival tricks? Share in the comments section below!